I Told Myself I Wouldn't Cry On Draft Day

"I remember the happy days before this."

Hey San Francisco, what the hell? Where was the help I was supposed get? For the past year, all I've been hearing is Alex Smith can't do this, Alex Smith can't do that, left and right, to and fro, every freakin' day. It really bums me out when I turn on ESPN and I see Skip Bayless yammering on forever about how much I suck. It's a real confidence downgrade.

What people don't get though is it's not my fault. How the hell am I supposed to develop as a quarterback if I don't have anyone to develop with?? You really expect me to become the next Eli Manning with the receiving core that I've had in the past few years? Who has Eli had? Oh, I don't know, Plaxico Burress, Amani Toomer, Jeremy Shockey to name a few. Who do I have? Arnaz Battle, Bryant Johnson, Darrell Jackson. Darrell Jackson? What the fuck? A team of 4th graders playing a pick up game wouldn't want Darrell Jackson. I seriously vouched for Randy Moss last year, I don't know how that translated to a reject from the Seahawks.

Even once the season was over, I was really hoping that we'd pick up someone from the free agency. Too bad we got Isaac Bruce. I remember him, when I was in like fifth grade. Isn't he collecting social security?

Then the draft came around. "Now I'll finally get the receiver I need," I thought to myself. Maybe a Doucet or Hardy. Even maybe a DeSean Jackson. He's the kind of play maker I could use, with all that speed to burn corners. There I was in my living room, surrounded by all my friends and relatives, ready to hear the receiver that we'd be picking in the first round. I even had my Jerry Rice jersey on just to make the point.

…And with the 29th overall pick in the draft, the San Francisco 49ers select….. Kentwan Balmer?!?!

Man………………………………….

Another defensive guy? Wasn't P. Willis enough? I mean, he's practically a whole defensive unit by himself. He doesn't need help. You know who needs help…. Alex Smith needs help, that's who.

Then after that let down, I waited, and waited, and waited for a receiver to be picked. I saw so many great guys get taken. Devin Thomas, Eddie Royal, even that white guy from Kansas State, all to different teams, none to San Francisco. Just like that, Day 1 was over, no receivers for me. As the day died down and I became more sober to the fact I would be WR-less, I went into my room and played my favorite Dashboard Confessionals song. It's the only thing that helps me get through days like these.

Day 2 rolled around and we finally got some guy from Virginia Tech in the sixth round.

My analysis: six rounds too late. Sigh. Now it's Tuesday and Alex Smith is blue. Coach Martz has me looking over our draft picks for a team meeting tomorrow. He tries to cheer me up, saying he'll make things better, but he doesn't know. He doesn't know the burden of being Alex Smith, no one does. The 49ers got me all excited and filled with hope, only to smash my heart like and leave me drowning in a pool of my own tears. Sniffle.

It's okay Alex, don't cry. Be a big boy. Nothing can make this day worse, right?

Goes to front page of Deadspin.

Man……………



Puts on Boys Don't Cry by The Cure

If only it were true Robert.

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